2020 A Year That Will Never Be Forgotten (Part 2)

And again! Just got a news in November 2020 that my Naniji (Grandmother) passed away in India. I'm so so devastated. Why us? Why again and again. My mother was unable to attend her own mother's funeral in India due to this stupid shitty Coronavirus (COVID-19). To see her and my Mamaji (Mum's brother) crying over the videocall was so heartbreaking. The whole ritual was done and shown to us via videocall. Imagine how devastating it is. 

My Naniji

My Mum and Naniji

I really really am so heart broken as I'm unable to be there. It's like a cursed year for my family. First my dad met in an accident and then Naniji passing away!

2020 A Year That Will Never Be Forgotten

Just realized that I have not been writing much. My last post was like two years ago. Working from home today made me check my "forgotten" blog. Oh well, nope, I'm not dead yet (thank god)! 

So, what can I say about 2020? Well to start of with, I got married! (yeayyyyy!!). Then right after a month, MCO started due to the "Rise of Covid".

Source: Tumblr

Yeap, and the rest is history. We in Malaysia, still struggling to get rid of this as the cases are increasing day by day. Not only that, all my travelling plans for this year is gone into the drain for sure. My struggle does not even end there, it just about to begin.

I started my new job in April 2020 this year in the field that I love the most. Done 3 professional papers with good results and can use the title behind my name. Sayyyyyy whatttttttt! Okay so, that was a good thing right, but I have been struggling with the workload as I'm the only SME in my field managing the whole organization with 15 different departments. Yes, you got that right. My daily mail can reach to a max cap as I receive atleast 100 mails a day with "DIFFERENT ISSUES"!!!! Asked my Head of dept to hire a few more people in the dept, but oh well, no budget they say!

Source: Tumblr

Okay, so that's that. 

The worst thing that actually hit me real hard was my father's accident. A horrible accident that almost caused his life. So here's what happened:

I've just parked my car at the porch and was about to open my house door, got a call from my mum's doctor asking me why is my mum not answering his call. I thought it was some work emergency and I asked him what is the matter, he then said, please rush to Hospital Kajang as your dad met in an accident. I asked him how he got to know? He said my dad's boss called my mum's clinic to inform my mum as my mum was not answering the phone. 

I thought it was a prank that is being played as I have received many such call before. So i hung up, called my dad many many times. No answer. Heart sank. Called my sister and asked her to rush to the hospital as they were nearer. Just right on time, my husband returned and told the whole thing to him and we then rushed to the hospital. Upon reaching, we straight went to the emergency. Saw my dad's boss "Miss Lim" and she said dad is very serious. I was like what actually happen. She showed us the video that was taken by some bystanders and ambulance was there. The road was full of blood and it was terrifying but did not have my father there as he was already in the ambulance.

My mum, sister, brother were all in panic state. Calls were made to my aunty and uncle to inform them about my dad. My aunty rushed to the hospital. Right after an hour and 45 minutes of waiting in the emergency section, one doctor called " Waris Bhajan Singh", my heart sank into the stomach and started beating fast. Went to the doctor and she said my dad is really serious and fighting for his life. I I then asked, what happened Doctor? She said its an open skull fracture and they can see his brain coming out. I was just like FUCKKKKKKK. My sister started crying. Being the eldest, I had to makesure that I don't breakdown and cry. Because if I cry, who is going to take care of my mum and siblings. I asked the doctor, what are his chances like. She said, for now the chances are very slim. He is very very very critical. Tolong doa banyak banyak. The doctor made me sign a few documents to give them approval to some medicine usage and they then explained the effects of it. She went back inside.

                                Source: Tumblr

Went to my mum and she was looking at me with hopeful eyes and expecting me to say that dad met in a small accident that caused him to break a few bones and he'll be back home. I told her that dad is serious and the doctor asked us to pray. I've never seen her breaking down in front of us and she almost fainted. We started our prayers and hoping for a miracle. After another hour or so, the doctor came out and looked for me, I went and she said we're so sorry, looking at your dad's condition we have to transfer him to Hospital Kuala Lumpur as he will have to go thru a major brain surgery. I was puzzled, like why have to transfer him? She said because there is no any neuro facilities available at the hospital, thus have to transfer him. I then asked the doctor again, are there any other injuries? She looked at me and say yes. My eyes widened. Asked her what is it? She said dad has multiple lacerations on his body, his right hand just above the wrist big chunks is missing where multiple veins appears to be impacted and left hand elbow is dislocated. His left foot (ankle) has a big cut. I was like WTFFFF! What the fuck happened.

                                                      Source: Tumblr

We waited from 8.30 pm till 2.30 am for his transfer to happen. We was not even allowed to see him during the waiting period. Only saw him being transferred from the emergency section to the ambulance. And oh boy, we were heart broken to see him like that..........

To be continued......

Love,

Kaveen

Depression

What is depression?

Depression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act. Fortunately, it is also treatable. Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities once enjoyed. It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease a person’s ability to function at work and at home.

Depression symptoms can vary from mild to severe and can include:

·         Feeling sad or having a depressed mood

·         Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed

·         Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting

·         Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much

·         Loss of energy or increased fatigue

·         Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., hand-wringing or pacing) or slowed movements and speech (actions observable by others)

·         Feeling worthless or guilty

·         Difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions

·         Thoughts of death or suicide

Source : https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression

To those who are feeling this, please go and get some help because it can lead to suicide.

And to those who thinks that their family member or friends feeling this, please help them even when they push you away.

Thank you for reading and keep sharing!

Xoxo,

Kaveen

Drastic Change and a New Transformation.

I'm speechless.

The changes that I have gone through just in the span of 6 months, have transformed me into a women that I never thought I would be.

Listening to own-self rather than people's opinion seems to be an easier task which I took almost 27 years of my life to understand. Priority have to be given to self rather than anyone else as happiness is a choice. I know that many people will not agree, but happiness to me has a new definition starting a few months back.

I've come to a realization that happiness all this while for me was all about pleasing other people. Yes, I WAS known to be a people pleaser all this while. Everything was about pleasing everyone. I have STOPPED doing it. HOW?

This is what happened. I was scheduled to be married and to start a new life. Yes, married and a new life. I called it off with many personal reason which I do not want to disclose. Well, anyway, during the process of calling off the wedding, I was called with many "names". One of the famous word was a Bitch. Yeap, from being called a bitch, whore, gold digger by my very own.

They were saying like, wow, so your first ex was a pilot, current is an engineer and the next, let me guess, a doctor? I was shocked. And this issue made me realize that I have been pleasing these kind of people by sacrificing my own happiness. I made my decision by calling off the wedding for my very own happiness. My happiness was my career. I chose my career.

By choosing my career, I believe that many of you wont be able to digest the fact. I was not able to digest it as well, however, I managed to do it by choosing good people around me who don't label me or judge me with the decision I've made. I know calling off a wedding in a short span of time is a taboo in Asia. Whereby, the specific girl/guy won't be able to find any other partner. The girl/guy will be labelled as bad luck or a trouble maker. This labeling is done by all the aunties/uncles that are too free in life by stalking each other on social media. Well, yea, speaking of social media. This social media is a disaster. #facepalm

To all the aunties and uncles, please find some better things to do in life. Stop spreading stories here and there. By the way, this message is not only to aunties and uncles, it is also to all the teenagers who like to screenshot. Screenshots is a art of stupidity. I don't understand people who stoop so low till to screenshot everything what others has to do. I am a victim of screenshots as well.

I'm not pin pointing anyone, but being a victim of the screenshot, I have faced many problems whereby I'm not able to post even a selfie on Instagram, check in to any place, write a status on Facebook or even update my blog. Whatever I do, was being circulated all around. My Insta story has the biggest hit. I really wish to get notification from Insta whenever someone screenshot my story. I really wanna kill that Mother F*&^$%. Sorry for my language. But I really have no tolerance for these kind of people.

Now, I'm sure you guys have many questions like why don't I delete my accounts and create new ones. Well, I have a very solid reason to it. All my old pictures, vacations with friends, tons of memories, and what not. I really do not want to delete anything for this kind of problem.

While going thru this period in my life, I've gone into a really bad depression. I suffocated every single day in my life since that day. It has been the worst stage of my life. By being not able to share with anyone, I started listening to many good speakers, life quotes, enrolled myself in gym, reading and started guitar practice. Even while I was doing it, I was slammed many times by "many" people, that I look very happy after calling off my wedding. But they do not know what I was going thru, I was trying to divert my mind. People interpret everything I do is all about showing off that I'm happy.

If I keep indulging with sadness, when will I find peace and happiness? Should I cry all day? Not make new friends? Go out for movies and all. I keep getting harassment calls and what not. Should I just lock myself at home and not go out? Am I some kind of animal that deserve to be in the cage? All i did was one thing for my happiness, And I was boycotted by many many people. I don't really care NOW because at the end, they don't pay my bills and I don't please people anymore. You want to talk to me, I will talk to you, if not, please shut your mouth and turn the other side and not show me your fucking retarded face.

After all they have said this to my face, they still had the audacity to say stuff about my career. Many people tried to put me down by saying that by being a banker, I will not be able to reach the stars. As of today, I have reached and achieved what I wanted. I'm trying to be the best version of me. I will makesure that I become someone in life and shove on their face. Even, they said, Oh, your daughter have alot of money what, give it to people who need it lah. Don't let me slap your daughter right at her work place. How dare you speak to my mother like that? How DAREEEEEEEE!

I know what I did was not very right, I apologize for taking this step. But then, by taking this step I realized who stood there by my side. I know who are two faced and act like they care. To be honest, your opinions and your two faced fuck face does not matter anymore. You may be dear to me backthen but now, I realized that even shadows leave our sight in the dark. You want my help, I'll help you but I will never turn my face to you if ever I have issues. Sorry.

To those who are reading this, please don't stoop so low like the lifeless people I have mentioned above taking screenshot of my blogpost. And SIAPA MAKAN CILI, DIA RASA PEDAS.

I don't give a flying fuck to people who judge my life. This is new me and if you are offended by this post, clearly you're not wanted here. Please don't even come back.

Peace yo!

Thanks for tuning in and hitting 25k views! Thanks for your love.

XoXo,

Kaveen

My Trip to The United States of America ! :)

Wow!

That's the first word that I will ever say. No words. It is one of the most friendliest country. I have gone for a business visit and it was the most PERFECT visit.

I have traveled to Austin, Texas. This state is known as the lone star state. Ask me why is it called as the lone star state? Well, as far as I was informed, it is known as The Lone Star State because the flag has only one star as below:



Unique right!

Well, let me begin from the start. So, my trip to the States started on the 3rd June 2017. My flight was on the 3rd June 2017 from KLIA to Heathrow London Airport. You heard that right! My flight was to LONDON.

The flight was for 13 hours straight from Malaysia. Traveled from British Airways.

The food was "marvelous". Hahaha. The wine was SUPERB. I loved it. It helped me to sleep. Seriously.

So when we reached London, the temperature was like 10 Celsius. It was freaking cold. Once we cleared the immigration, we straight went and look for train. Sorry, "we" means I was with another girl as well, Tasha.  Both of us traveled together. We took the train from Terminal 5 and went to Big Ben. The station is known as Westminster. Very nice place and I would love to go again.

We didn't know anything about the new place yet we traveled like a local person. Hahahaha. Maps in hand, asking directions from the cops. Mind you, the cops are so damn tall and good looking! *drooling* haha.



We had a transit for only 5 hours. SO , once we have visited the Big Ben, we headed back to the airport to catch our flight to Austin. That flight was a 10 hours flight.



After the whole struggle, we finally reached Austin-Bergstrom International Airport. We took a cab to our hotel. The cab costs us USD 44.00 = RM 189.09 and the distance was only about 20 mins drive. #facepalm

This was the hotel. Lone Star Court which was located The Domain.



And my room wasssssssssss, tadaaaaaaaa :

My freaking fridge! Hahahahahah!

We reached to the hotel around 5-6pm. Mind you, it gets dark only after 8.30pm. Its bright and sunny at 7.30pm. Their 9.00 pm is like our 7.00pm. Hahaha! The room was sooo damn cozy. I loved it!

After having a good shower, we had a walk to find food. We ate pizza for freaking USD 9.00 and a Banana Waffle with nutella for about USD 5.00. See the portion of the waffle! #facepalm. Pizza picture i forgot to take as I was too hungry! They have no chili sauce there. It's only Sriracha and tomato sauce.

I don't like the sauce. Tastes like bloody vinegar! Yuck.

After having our food, we got to know that one of our colleague was stuck at the airport as her luggage delayed and it was already 11pm. I have not seen her before and it was my first time meeting her. Her name is Manisha and she is from Hyderabad office. She is super damn smart!

Oh well, then I met her the next morning. The most friendliest and caring human being i have ever seen! We got ready and headed to office. Before the journey to the office, we had a very good breakfast at the hotel.

After the meal, we headed to the office. The people in the office were super super friendly and good looking as well. Hahaha!

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Cutting short on the trip itinerary, we have visited many many place.

This lady comes here daily and stand here for hours as Statue of Liberty with no cost. I've asked her, how much she gets an hour if she does it,she said nothing. She does it every single day be it raining or hot sunny weather just because of the love for her country! God bless her!  #happypeopleofamerica

Texas State Capitol was a memorable ones and I will never ever ever forget it!

The other places that I have visited was :

Barton Springs Pool.

Dillard's

Maggiano's

We had team dinner at this place. The food was too good! :)

Park near my office!

Bob Bullock Texas State Museum 

Barton Creek Square Mall

Well, this is my team! 

Perri , Manisha, Tasha and myself! :)

View from my hotel. Just love it!

Apart from that, we were craving for indian food there. It was so damn difficult to get rice . So on our way to office, we saw one Indian Restaurant and we managed to find it online. We ordered the food. Chicken Biryani =USD 12.99 and Lamb Biryani = USD 14.99. The taste was just okay only. Malaysia is the best! hahaha.

This ice cream is the best and it cost me the cheapest. Hahahaha! 

Annnnndddddddd, we went for shopping. Can you see the cart? The cart is full becaiuse it was cheap! ;)

Had this as our dinner after the shopping spree. Too tiring and it was good. Haha.

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Well, then came the day when we had to go back. :(

We left and our transit was also at the same place. LONDON. So we visited the below places. Hehehe!

It was one of the most memorable trip that I ever had. I loved it overall except the TAN! It was freaking 40 Celcius in Austin. And we traveled by buses in Austin. Super easy and it was only USD 2.50 for the whole day pass. Well, this is my little summary of my experience.

I'm happy and I enjoyed my trip and stay there. Thank you America for having us! Love you and till then, alvida!

Thank you for tuning in everyone! :)



Love,

Kaveen